Outside the Window (Catherine Campbell)

Coming back to life – cutting the grass. Seems almost normal. Kohl is checking out this new activity. Well not really new – back in the fall of 2019 it was normal routine. Nothing normal about today.

Well that really isn’t true either. The sun is shining, the grass is green, the leaves are starting to unfold from their buds on the trees. The bees are back, feasting on the dandelions. I rescued one from the sunroom and set him free. Something missing though.

No golfers.

The irrigation system was being checked this morning. Big sprays of water over the 1st green. The fertilizer cart headed back from the second hole. The greens are cut, the rough is trimmed.

No golfers.

There are walkers galore. What else is there to do? Our private park. I’ve hit my 10,000 steps several times. We have videoed Kohl doing his leash work and his tugging and his retrieving. Posted it online because there are no dog training classes. We chat from a social distance with fellow residents. Introduce Kohl but no social interaction allowed. Walking carefully by fellow walkers, an appropriate distance maintained, a wave, a smile.

The eagles are soaring in the afternoon sky. A robin has nested on the pillar by our front porch. Not sure where the ducks nested this year. Kohl and I watch them come and go from the ponds. And geese, of course. The superintendent was out a few weeks ago – loud noises to spook them away. Back down to the Thames Valley Conservation area or Kains Woods. Kohl has met a muskrat and checks out the stream every walk to look for him (or her). We spooked two deer who bounced down the fairway, tails flagging white and high. Kohl would have been in hot pursuit except for the leash.

No golfers.

In a normal time, spring, warm, we would not be walking on this course soaking up the joy of renewal. We truly would be observing outside the window. So all beautiful and vibrant but all outside the window.  

Outside the window.

Goodbye to Ivy (Catherine Campbell)

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I am chewing on walnut bread toast with cinnamon-infused honey. It tastes like sawdust. Those big brown eyes aren’t staring up at me, waiting less than patiently for her share. She didn’t greet us at the door with her canvas fish in her mouth and her short tail wagging. How could she? We had just come back from leaving her still warm body at the vet.

This morning started as usual – 6 a.m. Ivy is up with “sole” in her mouth trotting around the bedroom. I get up, grab her blankies, her kong bone and head for the crate in the kitchen. She trots out ahead of me, drops “sole” (not allowed in the crate) and runs in, waiting for her cookie. She made a funny bark an hour or so later. I got up to take her out. She trotted around in the long grass and then ran a couple of circles on our lawn. Suddenly she sank like she was going to lie down and she crumpled, folding over on her side.

Same as two weeks ago. Then I had pumped her chest, hard compressions and she gasped and recovered. We did the gamut with the local vet – x-rays, ecg, exam and started her on medications. The scary part of the heart – everything looks normal until it isn’t. She bounced around the house, raced around the pool table, leapt through grass twice her height out behind the house. She went to her agility class, ran the courses, not even panting. Last night she seemed lethargic and a little unresponsive – lying on the couch, head on my leg. But bedtime was normal.

I dropped beside her this morning and started pushing on her chest. She didn’t start to breathe. Her death spasms ripped my heart out. I want to turn the clock back but then what? I was so helpless.

Back from the vet…

We just threw her bed out – it was worn and it is garbage day. I couldn’t leave it somewhere where I would see the void. The crate went to the garage. Her medications packed to send to a vet for someone else’s pet to use. Her food – just opened a brand new bag last night – will go to a rescue. I feel like I am sanitizing our home, making it like she was never here.

That would actually be hard to do. She was the Pet of the Month in the Neighbours of Riverbend magazine, ironically, the same month that she dies. A memoriam.Ivy RBMag

Ivy Doting with SoleIt is five years this month since she arrived in our home. Her show photos are on Facebook, her images were part of a pet photography course. I have a video of her yodelling to the piano. There is a worn spot on the arm of the sofa where she rested her head to stare at Howard. Hundreds of pictures.

Maybe my Turkish rug will stay flat now that she isn’t careening around the dining room waiting for her food dish. There won’t be puddles on the floor around her water dish to step in – I won’t be filling it several times a day because she won’t touch “stale” water.

Not sure what I am going to do with her agility set up. She loved the weaves and the tunnel. We set jumps up around the pool table. We started agility to provide more socializing. She was a star. Last week when she was running mini-courses at her novice agility class, not a hint, no premonition that it would be her last.

She was absolutely beautiful. The sheen on her coat, the arch of her neck.

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I just watched a deer walk across the fairway. Ivy would have been apoplectic. She frequently worked herself into a frenzy over the deer, the coyotes, a robin, a golfer looking for the golf ball in “her” fescue.

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IMG_E0392She was a mooch. She shared the beater from making cookies (test of wills between she and Howard as to who got the biggest portion). My yogurt. And the crusts from that toast I am trying to eat.

IMG_3159.jpgShe loved toys. She knew them all by name – fish, sole, bone, antelope (her blanket) – and would fetch what was asked for. The only Doberman we have shared our house with who didn’t destroy toys. Canvas fish was coming on two years old – looking a little tired from constant attention but intact.

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Her “outdoor” toys resided in a bin on the patio. When she wanted to play she headed straight for it. When she had enough of a toy she took it back. It was the only place she would hand over a toy willingly.Not a retriever, my Ivy. Chase the ball and keep it. Catch the ball and keep it. “Ivy, put it in the bin.” Into the bin the ball, the frisbee, the tug toy went. Our charcoal and barbecue stuff share the bin. Heartbreaking – need to move the toys.

My sister was my first call. As a vet she has been close to the highs and lows of our canines. This news was the lowest of low. I left it to her to tell my niece, also a vet and working in my sister’s practice. They had both devoted hours to researching the latest treatment for cardio after Ivy’s first collapse. None of us expected that it would only be two and a half weeks.

The vet clinic staff were so gentle. “No, I don’t want her ashes, nor an ink stamp of her pawprint. No, please keep her blanket with her.” The receptionist softly says “You can settle up later. You don’t have to handle it now.” Perhaps the tears trickling down my cheeks uninvited. I wasn’t crying but the tears kept coming. “No, we will pay now.” We didn’t want to have to think about doing it later.

Now the tedious task of telling everyone who needs to know. It is always a little surprising how much people recognize that a pet is an integral part of a family and treat the loss as a significant emotional upheaval. I remember a conversation at a party years ago. An attractive middle-aged woman was practically sobbing – “It is so difficult to look at my little dog and know that I will have to cope with him dying.” At the time I just nodded but thought that perhaps she shouldn’t have a dog. Today my son said the same thing. Today, perhaps, I feel the same thing. But I would have missed out on so many special memories. Every canine we have shared our lives with has had his or her own character – to be discovered and treasured.

Ivy came into our lives, on a trial basis, when our Doberman, Brock, developed bone cancer and, in pain, needed to be put down – another low for my sister. If it isn’t one thing, it is another. When Brock died my husband and I were without a dog in our house for the first time in over 30 years. Ivy wasn’t leaving although she was actually afraid of Howard. That didn’t last.

I wrote then about the loss of Brock:

“His spirit permeates the house – whispy sense of presence – still.”

Did I misstate that? Ivy’s absence is tangible and raw. Time, I hope, will give us back the memories of her spirit and her joy and ease the loss.

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Christmases to Remember (Catherine Campbell)

Well here we are in 2018 well into the “silly” season. Christmas music swirls around us everywhere we go. Christmas containers grace the porches. Christmas lights brighten the evening. Now the scramble to organize gifts, dinners, cards and notes – for so many people there is just angst, stress, guilt and loneliness. And, do we treasure the moments?

Most Christmases are forgettable and with all the emotional energy that is poured into this “festive” time that is rather sad. Still, if I am typical, there are a few special memories.

Dar es Salaam, Tanzania – 1966

I was 14 years old – my father had been assigned a 2-year tour in Dar es Salaam, training the local military pilots on search and rescue aircraft. I had been enrolled in a dance school in Cannes, France, but the educational offerings (almost non-existent) didn’t meet my father’s expectations. By November I was “home” in Dar.

Christmas to all of us had been “snow, snow, snow”. Manitoba, Labrador, Ottawa. Not tropical. My mother, an artist, took up the challenge. Her rendition of a Christmas tree was an abstract, pastel creation made out of multiple sheets of paper stuck on the wall. It didn’t need lights or ornaments! Christmas dinner was a pot luck at a park just outside of town. The lunch was to have included roast goat. However, the unlucky beast was stolen the night before the feast (probably not to meet a kinder fate) and, in the morning, the organizers scrambled to find a replacement. They did, but the roasting time was significantly diminished, and the result was decidedly unappealing.

Still there was laughter and sharing…and thanks for what we had – maybe a little more of the real “meaning” of Christmas.

We missed my brother – he was in Switzerland at boarding school – he spent a lonely Christmas.

Lundin Links, Scotland – 1967

My brother and I spent our next Christmas together, without the rest of the family! I had started boarding school in Edinburgh, Scotland. The Wests (our neighbours in Dar es Salaam) had returned to Scotland to a small town on the other side of the firth from Edinburgh. They invited both my brother and I to join them for Christmas since a trip to Tanzania was not possible.

It was a cozy cottage, the Scottish chill handled by gas fires (I did discover the joy of chilblains by toasting my cold feet too close to the heat). And Christmas music. Muriel West was a pianist (had instructed me in Africa) and the young son had a beautiful voice, a member of the King’s College choir.

The gossip mongers in town had a field day with two young people of the opposite sex – strangers – in town. I remember a hug from Brad on the streets of Lundin Links. He was laughing, happy – hard to believe he died at only 41.

Palm Springs – 1986

My husband and I headed to California for Christmas – his son was spending the holidays with the ex, so it seemed like a good idea to get away. We flew to San Diego and then drove to Palm Springs to a quaint hotel, the Ingleside Inn. It touted itself as the location for the stars and the list of famous guests was impressive. There were none to be seen when we were there but there were many signed pics of Hollywood stars, all decades old. The weather was warm, of course, belying “Christmas”. But there were festive touches. A nude sculpture in the garden had been graced with a Santa hat. Mini trees, about 8” high and decorated, were in every room. Echoing the near forgotten era of the piano lounge there was a pianist tickling the ivories on a grand piano, the food was excellent, classic tableside favourites, as was the wine – a Duckhorn Merlot.

What an absurd thing to remember!

Carlux, Dordogne, France – 1999

The millennium beckoned – maybe December was not the best time to visit the Dordogne in France but closing out the 20th century it seemed destined. The sun was shining, and the unseasonably warm breezes made shirt sleeves comfortable out on the stone patio.

We bought two little trees and decorated them with red balls and a lacy cap.

Christmas Eve we attended mass at the local cathedral. The organ music reverberated against the stone walls, the voices of the chorists made the hairs on my arm stand up. It was mesmerizing.

Christmas dinner was planned for the house. We were joined by an Australian couple staying in Sarlat, our friends who owned the Le Fournil property, Wayne (our son) and Sharon (a friend from Toronto). We had shopped at the local butcher for a turkey and a roast of beef and the market in Souillac for oysters and vegetables. The butcher’s careful instructions unfortunately produced a barely cooked roast of beef. The turkey prepared by our hosts in their coach house was perfect. The oysters and the champagne…what can I say?

We were home by New Year. That y2k conflagration that had been forecast – didn’t happen.

Postscript:Our little trees got planted in the garden above the Le Fournil – they are now 8 feet tall! Millenours 2000 (my white bear) has gone a little yellow – I have gone a lot grey!

The Recital (Catherine A. Campbell)

The buzz in the audience subsided as the lights dimmed.

The introductions had informed the audience that the recital pieces were part of the performer’s piano associateship program – astonishing for a 14-year old. A concert grand dominated the low stage. The hall was intimate, set up with round tables, encouraging a relaxed interactive experience. A bar at the top of the stairs welcomed the audience with a respectable selection of Niagara wines. A number of paintings were displayed on easels – the creations of the pianist. A very talented young lady!

The audience chatted, sipping on drinks, awaiting the start of the recital. Numerous friends and family had collected, and young children chattered, running in and out. Parents tried to tone down their enthusiasm before the playing began but not entirely successfully.

The tall, lanky Asian girl stepped up to the concert grand piano, turned to face the audience and bowed stiffly. A ringlet of hair hung down her face, the rest was piled tidily on her head. Big glasses, dark rimmed, accented her face. Her look was serious, lips slightly pouted. She was elegantly dressed, a black evening number that belied her age. The back was open, the skirt short. Tan brown sandals, high-heeled and laced half-way up her shin, finished the outfit.

She sat down on the bench, adjusting it slightly, placed her hands over the keys – a momentary pause, her right foot hovering over the pedal. The pianist stroked the keys, breathing life into an exquisitely dynamic performance – technically impressive but also emotional – forceful, lyrical. Just the right use of rubato. She wrapped – hands poised briefly where she had finished the piece, dropping into her lap as she turned to acknowledge the applause.

Sitting sideways on the piano bench, knees touching awkwardly, she looked out at the room.

“Thank you. That was one of my favorite composers, the great pianist and composer, Chopin. One of his “heroes” is the composer of the next piece, Johann Sebastian Bach.”

She tucked her short skirt against her bare legs as she reseated herself for the next piece. This one didn’t reflect the same passion as the Chopin. Her playing seemed wooden. Her execution of the Fugue never captured the intricacies of the theme, the right-hand parts persistently dominant. The youth of the pianist perhaps, not able to internalize and then execute the complex voicing.

A couple of the younger audience members fussed audibly but the performer appeared oblivious. More intrusive, a police siren whined and echoed from the street. The building, nearly 150 years old, was not sound proof and the neighborhood was not the most desirable. Family sat at the front row tables, applauding enthusiastically. Dad had a video camera on a tripod. Minutes into the Bach, Dad’s car keys fell out of his pocket, clattering noisily on the floor.

The pianist picked up the microphone again and introduced her next work, a piece by a relatively unknown composer and performer from France, Pierre Sancan. She commented on its similarity to Debussy’s work. “Pierre Sancan was a great admirer of Debussy’s harmonies and frequently performed Debussy works. I hope you enjoy this composition of Sancan’s, Toccata.” Turning back to the keyboard the young performer delivered a smooth, emotive interpretation of the piece.

Then the performance did the changeup. The pianist’s instructor had told the audience that a young singer would also be part of the evening. Stepping onto the stage, an electric guitar cradled in her arms, the singer nodded to the audience, long blonde hair trailing down her back and over the strings of the electric guitar, reminiscent of Joni Mitchell. The program indicated that she and the pianist were band members. Apparently, the blonde usually played the drums and sang. The pianist played the guitar.

Tonight, the singer played her own guitar. The pianist provided additional accompaniment on the piano. The singer’s voice was soft, folksy. Unfortunately, the tones of the electric guitar were jarring, the amplification edgy in the acoustics of the hall, drowning out her words. She sang three songs – an eclectic collection. First was a contemporary piece “The Magician” composed by Andy Shauf, a Canadian. Second, “Zombie” by the Irish band, The Cranberries.  The last song, composed by the pianist, was the most successful and resonant – no guitar, just the piano.

The contemporary “Joni Mitchell” bowed, thanked the audience and retreated to a front row seat joining a group that looked like classmates.

The noise level in the audience increased after the applause for the singer ended.

The pianist stood quietly in front of the bench waiting for the crowd to settle. “The next piece is 25 minutes and there will be no break – so hang in. It is one of Beethoven’s best-known sonatas, the Tempest.”

Turning again to the keys, she tucked her skirt tightly around her thighs. Her foot rested gently on the pedal. She tackled the piece with energy and musicality. Until the last movement when a memory hiccup momentarily interrupted the flow. The audience was largely oblivious.

She took the opportunity to regain her composure by a few calm breaths at the end, her hands still touching the keys. Turning, she addressed the room.  “Thank you. Except for the blooper in the last movement….”. A wry smiled touched her lips. Several members of the audience cringed – don’t apologize – you recovered – no performance is perfect.

“The next piece is…” She hesitated. Her instructor called out from the back of the room. “Jazz”. Looking myopically through her glasses towards her coach she said “Whatever! Right. The piece is a mix of jazz and…. polytonality. Actually the composer, Francois Morel, died quite recently.”

Members of the audience stirred, looking puzzled. Polytonality? As the pianist charged through the piece it became obvious the extent to which major and minor keys were overlaid. Technical, somewhat jazzy, very modern.

The final piece. “This is another of my favourite composers. Sergei Rachmaninoff. A romantic and dramatic.” She soared through the piece – her affinity for this era of music very obvious.

The audience clapped enthusiastically. She stood, bowing several times, and then walked off the stage, joining the table of classmates, giggling and waving her hands.

A protégé, maybe even a genius and still a “kid”.

Edinburgh, Scotland – Holy Corners (Catherine A. Campbell)

My husband and I arrived in Leith, Scotland, July 15, 2015. The port for Edinburgh, an interesting town – we had time to walk around and lunch. Good to be off the ship. Tomorrow was ostensibly the highlight of the cruise – The Open at St. Andrews, on the other side of the link.

The real highlight for me was the opportunity, on a free day in Edinburgh, to find my boarding house and school close onto 50 years after attending – Cranley School for Girls – 1967-1968. Volunteers at the pier provided maps and directions for the usual tourist spots. No doubt the woman we spoke to was taken aback when I gave a specific residential address that I wanted to “get to”. About to send us to City Centre with multiple bus transfers she lit up and said “Over there. No 8. Tell the driver to let you off at Holy Corners.”

Holy Corners – right by the Edinburgh Hospital. A place burned into my memories of that year at boarding school.

We left the bus as directed, at Holy Corners. No surprise as to how it came by its name. The churches butted the sidewalk on each corner of Gillsland and Morningside, ergo Holy Corners. The stained-glass windows were dark with grime of decades of vehicles belching smoke into the air. Iron fences barricaded the grounds of the Edinburgh Hospital, lining the sidewalk, pinning the walkers between them and the busy street.

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Gillsland was the quieter of the two roads. Old, stately homes stood well back on the lots, narrow gates opening from the low stone walls by the street. They had been built in an era where there were few cars and no need for driveways or access for vehicles. My boarding house was number 8.

A plaque with the street name was nailed into the wall at the corner, right next to one of the churches.

A gentle place with the sun shining, a dreary place in the drizzle of Scottish winters and an eerie place in the gloom of the evening. That is the memory I have of Holy Corners. A memory of the churches ill-lit and their shadows darkening the street even more than the dusk. Street lights were grimy and glowing dimly. The wet streets flickered with the reflection of car headlights. The whole of Holy Corners seemed to swirl like a living, breathing thing – crooked fingers reaching out to block the way.

Why was I trying to negotiate the way from the Edinburgh Hospital, past Holy Corners, to my boarding house on Gillsland Road on such a dark and dreary evening?

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Sally was older than I was, Scottish-born and bred. I had been assigned to her dorm room. There were four of us. Sally, of course, and Louise and Ellen. As the youngest (and newest) I got all the cruddy jobs like getting up on a freezing morning to turn on the space heater to take the edge off the unheated room. I was also the only non-Scot. Sally’s parents lived in or near Edinburgh but Louise and Ellen’s parents were elsewhere in the world. My parents, too, were thousands of miles away – in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania – I was very lonely.

Sally loved horses, as did I. However, Sally walked with canes, legs braced – a victim of polio at a very young age. The bones didn’t grow properly so every year her legs were broken, the bones stretched apart to create a gap and pinned in place so that the gap could fill with new bone. Every year! This year her parents had promised her a respite.

Sally had been encouraged to ride woolly ponies at a nearby stable – very staid. She was easily infected with the desire to up the ante. We found a lovely stable to try with the help of our young house mistress. The horses were trained in basic dressage, point-to-point steeplechasing and jumping and rides were available at all levels.

Our Headmistress, Miss Porteous, into her 60’s and less than fit and active (aka “Porky” – children are cruel), had some trepidation but she bowed to our pressure. Sally’s parents also caved to her pleading. Our first couple of visits were uneventful. Compared to the ponies this equestrian centre made us feel like real horsewomen. The stable hand was cautious with Sally and had put her on a big, slow-moving gelding – definitely part draft horse – a real sweetheart. His fetlocks were hairy right down to his big, flat hooves. This day he was tacked up ready to go, reins draped over his neck. The attendant had stepped away to help another rider. Sally’s parents had come to watch and no doubt showing off, Sally, in a burst of independence, decided she would mount the horse unsupervised. Crazy! Her head didn’t even reach his withers and there was no mounting block. She lifted one foot to the stirrup, hand gripping the front of the saddle.

In absolute slow motion I saw the rear hoof of that easy-going horse shift and saw him flick it forward as if to knock off a fly. Sally was right in its path. She went down like a rag doll.

I raced to her. She was sobbing in shock. Her mother scrambled over screaming Sally’s name. The stable hand whipped around and grabbed the horse, getting him out of the way. It was quickly apparent that Sally’s leg had snapped.

We lifted Sally very carefully and ensconced her in the back seat of her parent’s car. I crawled in to the same seat and supported her head in my lap. I was trembling. Sally was whimpering and I was soothing her. “It’s OK. We don’t have far to go. Just stay still.” She managed a nod. Staying still was easier said than done. Her dad, white as a sheet, was driving like a maniac. To the Edinburgh hospital right by Holy Corners.

I was left standing alone in the Emergency Room. Sally had been rushed into x-ray and her parents with a quick squeeze of my shoulder went with her. At this point I couldn’t process where I was or how to get back to the boarding house. It was now quite dark. I found a pay phone and called the house. Mrs. Todd, senior headmistress, answered. In her firm, no nonsense voice. “I understand. Sally is being looked after. Now let’s get you home.” She calmly directed me to the exit out of the hospital, past Holy Corners back to the big stone boarding house at 8 Gillsland Road.

Mrs. Todd greeted me at the lobby door. I was ushered into the Headmistress’ sitting room, across from our dining room. Several boarders were hovering at the door, Sally’s accident had already become known. The sitting room was full of over-stuffed chairs, throw rugs, cushions and a cozy gas fire (most of the rooms in the boarding house were unheated).  I felt chilled to my core. I slid into a big chair that enveloped me. Mrs. Todd was stiff upper lip – “You are OK, dear. Home safe.” Miss Porteous – “You poor dear. And poor Sally. We should never have let her take the risk. Do you know – did she break the leg again?” “I think so. I didn’t get to go with her to the exam room at the hospital. She was in so much pain.” I hiccupped with the start of a sob. Both Mrs. Todd and Miss Porteous hugged me. Nauseatingly sweet, milky tea was poured into my cup. It cloyed on my tongue, the honey thick in the bitter liquid. I burst into tears.

There was no more riding for Sally and she spent that Christmas, yet again, in leg casts.

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And here my husband and I were at Holy Corners, walking down the road to 8 Gillsland Road and I remembered that long ago day like it had happened yesterday.

Vivian Dall’Armi, resident of London and a renaissance woman…. (Catherine A. Campbell)

At age 8 Dall’Armi built a crystal radio from instructions in a book. Fascinated by science and electronics she has avidly pursued a wide range of interests – engineering, design, aviation (flying – and owning – planes) as well as studying piano and making wine. Dall’Armi has packed her life with these diverse achievements. She is the epitomy of a renaissance woman.

Over a glass of wine, she relates her life story in her slightly accented English, pausing to seek the perfect words. She talks with her hands and laughs often. It is a deep, guttural laugh – absolutely contagious.

Dall’Armi’s life began in post-war Italy in a small town, Avezzano, west of Rome. Her father drove trucks, moving gravel to construction sites. Her mother and aunt were both seamstresses.

So, as a young girl, did she do “girly” things?

“There were dolls, but they were so static. They didn’t do anything.” Looking for more active pursuits, she discovered that she was good with her hands, proficient at drawing, persistent with challenges when other kids lost patience.

At her father’s construction sites Dall’Armi took careful mental note of the activities. At home she drew and then built houses out of cardboard from shoeboxes; making roofs, cutting windows so they opened and closed. “We didn’t have scotch tape back then. Glue was not available, and I didn’t have the patience for glue. My mom was a dressmaker. She had straight pins. I would put things together like this. Two pieces of shoebox cardboard and I would pin them… to make 3-dimensional objects so they would stand.”

She and her brother, Carlo, scrounged for everything to create three-dimensional models – the straight pins – wood from the firewood bin – rope for wire – nails purchased with sparse savings.“Most of my creations came from the fact that I didn’t have them. We didn’t have the money to buy them so if I really wanted something I had to make it.”

The family moved to Milan. Dall’Armi borrowed a book on how to make a radio. She chuckles, “Of course, I had to try to make a radio. I was looking for components trying to make the first radio, twisting wire together. It was a crystal radio so didn’t need a power source. The radio never did any more than crackle in sound but for me that was something.This was what sparked my life-long interest in science and electronics.”

Career options for women were very limited in Italy. Dall’Armi says, “I went by default to a course that tried to make a secretary out of me…knew there was another direction that I could go but girls weren’t doing that.”  She described her fascination with technical “stuff”, describing a room at her school set up for teaching electricals – all the desks had knobs and needles and power supplies – for the boys.

At this point in her education the Dall’Armi family emigrated to Canada – London, Ontario. Getting a start here didn’t happen overnight – there were hurdles, language and money. “I had taken three years of French in middle school and one year of English in the technical institute. I was the translator for the whole family.”

Formal education was unaffordable. Dall’Armi, still interested in electricity/electronics, took correspondence courses. Pragmatically, she concluded that with her rudimentary grasp of English, she would do better in programs where the material could be read in advance with the help of the dictionary.

Her mechanical talents and ingenuity quickly became evident when she started to work. Her first job was spraying paint on novelties made of plaster. If the spray gun stopped working or if the compressor failed, she fixed them. She took on engineering projects including designing an assembly line for polyurethane molding and presses. “I learned all this stuff on my own, just reading books, doing math and it got better and better.” That job lasted fifteen years.

Without a degree, Dall’Armi struggled to get recognition of her expertise in engineering and design. She attempted photography – unsuccessfully. “I wasn’t very good at photography. Good technically but didn’t have the creativity. Sometimes people see this tree in the middle of the field and they take a picture and it is a piece of artwork. That wasn’t me.”

Trojan Technologies, looking for somebody with electrical knowledge for an engineering job, interviewed and hired Dall’Armi. Here she worked on ultraviolet technology, learned about microbiology, designed test equipment, learned how to calculate the applications and dosages. One of her designs is patented and itenhanced Trojan Technologies’ competitiveness in ultraviolet technology.

To put Dall’Armi’s accomplishment in context – only 12% of practicing engineers in Canada today are women (2016 stat from Engineers Canada). What Dall’Armi achieved through pure tenacity and native talent is extraordinary!

She continued her studies – math at Fanshawe College. “I was always afraid of what I didn’t know.” She wanted to pursue an engineering degree. The CEO at Trojan Technologies insisted that a degree in business management would be better for her career. “UWO was offering a 4-year degree program in business management. The company was willing to pay for it in full. So, for the next 4 years I worked on my Certificate in Management and graduated in 1995.”Dall’Armi worked for Trojan for 16 years.

As if work and studies were not fulfilling enough Dall’Armi devoted spare time (and money) to hobbies.

“I can fly…”

As a young child, on the train to Rome with her mother, Dall’Armi passed an airfield. She was entranced by the planes Dreaming that someday she would fly, she started building model airplanes – from scratch.

“We were living on the 7thfloor. There was an empty field behind – lots of space. I would build the planes out of shoe boxes again and I would fly them out of the balcony. Some … flew so well I had to go and get them to fly them again.

“I never give up on anything that is the thing…. what do you have to lose. Just try…. how is this thing made?”

Dall’Armi never did get to fly in Italy. Her gender dictated against the military and money was scarce. However, once in Canada, she had a demonstration ride in a Cessna. She asked what it would cost to learn to fly – $1200 – too much.

Years passed. Dall’Armi recalled that her manager at Trojan took her aside. “Vivian, every time you talk about airplanes your eyes twinkle. You are not getting any younger. You are making good money now. You have to do it now. Go do it now.”

In 1993 she went to a flying club for lessons.  Unfortunately, she had myopia and wore contact lenses. An over-zealous ophthalmologist stalled her plans, saying she had problems with her eyes. It was two years before she found an ophthalmologist who cleared her, so she could pass her medical to solo. She took her flight test in 1996 and got her pilot’s licence.

The same year she bought her first plane. She had invested in her employer’s company and when it went public, she had money to buy a plane. A Piper Cherokee – $30K.was located in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba. She took a commercial flight there with a friend and they flew the plane back.

A couple of years later she bought another plane. She briefly had a “fleet” – two airplanes. Unfortunately, her first plane required costly engine repair in order to sell it. But she was addicted. “You lose touch with the value of money. You still complain because a beer is $7 but blow $30K just like nothing or $1500 on a repair without even thinking. It didn’t make any sense.”

This was glaringly evident when she had an accident with her new plane. This plane had cost $100K. The nose wheel collapsed on landing. “The propeller was like moustaches, all curled up, and then there was damage on the body.” A pilot had to have 25 hours of experience on that model for the insurance to be fully effective. An instructor was working with her at the time.  “We did a landing at a different speed and the gear didn’t lock. No warning that it hadn’t. As soon as the nose wheel touches….” Dall’Armi throws her hands in the air to finish the sentence. She had to pay for the repairs out of her own pocket – mortgaged her house.

And, she is still flying, although questioning the sanity, but it is an important part of her life.

How about a hobby she could work with year-round? Well, why not model trains? A friend asked her help to put a model train under his Christmas tree. She bought one for herself.

A co-worker and a friend offered to work on a layout and did all the heavy work. Dall’Armi supervised. Her town has a train station, a gas station, an oil refinery, a mine (that fills the train cars with coal), a vineyard. A church is in the plan.

Often, after working for a couple of hours, the guys run the trains. Dall’Armi’s satisfaction is in building things. There is, of course, the train station. There is a bar with flashing lights, an appliance shop with appliances and a sales rep and customer, a music store with a grand piano – all made from scratch.

Wine making had been a family tradition. Dall’Armi’s father thought that Canadian wine was terrible – when they arrived in Canada in 1967, it probably was. All the Italians made wine. The grapes were ordered from California in September and picked up at the railyard in London. Her father made the wine at home with his daughter’s help. Dall’Armi said, “I wasn’t going to stomp on the grapes. I designed a press to crush the grapes.” She bottles her own wine now from juice. Falling back on her work expertise she uses ultraviolet light to disinfect the bottles. She says her wine is getting better.

In Italy music was a big part of family gatherings. A violinist mesmerised Dall’Armi. The violin was magic – the bow caressed the strings and made all these beautiful sounds. A student violin was 8,000 liras so her mother told Dall’Armi that she would have to put off a purchase and lessons. Dall’Armi then tried to make a guitar. “I had a piece of flat stick – cut a front and a back out of cardboard – put strings – and a bridge – strings were made of yellow rope that wasn’t the usual twine – nailed. I didn’t know about frets. If tightened enough the strings would actually make a sound.” It wasn’t really music but Dall’Armi was delighted that she had figured out how a guitar worked.

She had started clarinet in a school program so could at least read notes on the treble clef! New neighbours in Milan had a beat-up upright piano. Dall’Armi looked for every excuse to visit and try to play. The piano was completely out of tune. “I fixed some keys that weren’t working properly. I took apart the whole thing and I found out why ….. some were because people lifted the stoppers and they came out of the little hole. Some of them the little leather strap was broken so I made a strap out of rope. It worked.”

Dall’Armi has never lost her dream of making music. Now a baby grand piano graces her living room. Reading music is still a challenge for her. She painstakingly learns the pieces like Chopin Mazurkas and waltzes by memory. It is a passion. “Sometimes we are all guilty of not playing for fun. This little waltz I am working on is not very well known. I just like it.”

Her music is an essential part of her life – a neighbour complained about her playing the piano in the evening.  She sold that house and moved.


Beyond doubt, Dall’Armi will continue to explore and experiment. The common threads to her many interests – curiosity, determination, never say die – if you want something, make it happen!

Interconnected (Catherine Campbell)

Isolating – the weather is bleak.

I watched the rain drops slithering along the curved roof of the sunroom. The wind howled. The trees dance or so it seems. Dancing – reminding me of the swirling shapes and colours of a crowded dance floor. Except that the dance I remember really wasn’t very crowded. Maybe more like meandering ribbons, multi-coloured.

I returned to my desk. It had been a singularly unproductive morning. Blank sheets of paper, stark white, staring at me from the desk. I reached for my coffee cup and knocked over a container of paper clips.

How intriguing. They seemed to come alive on the white background. I joined a blue one to a red one and positioned them in the corner of the paper. Then added a yellow and a green and another red. I snaked the paper clip chain making loops and curves. I closed the loop but that was too neat. It suggested that there could be closure. No, the paper clip chain had to trail away….

Sighing I shrugged. “I am making much too much of this. Just procrastinating.” I shook the chain off the paper and picked up a pen. I couldn’t think of anything to write. My eyes wandered back to the pile of paper clips.

“Maybe not – I like the symbolism. Is that what I am missing in my story? The connections.” I played with the clips. “The plot doesn’t have to be in a straight line. It just needs to link. See, it can go forward and down, back and up. Keep it moving and when there are no more connections – I am done.”

I thought some more about that chain.

“I still have to start, somewhere. Maybe the middle.” Tracing the paper clip chain, “See I can always circle back. Maybe, crazy as that sounds, start at the end.”

Sighing – a walk in the rain might clear my head. The chain will be here when I get back.

Connected Web

Photo by Howard W. Moyer and Catherine A. Campbell – www.moyerimages.com

 

 

Self-Publishing or Publisher (Catherine Campbell)

It is difficult to address the advantages and disadvantages of self-publishing in the abstract.  There is a gamut of self-publishing options just as there is a range of publishing services.

Publishing companies generally offer all or some of the following services:

  • Editorial
    • Manuscript review
    • Revision and rewrite input
    • Copyediting
  • Production
    • Design
    • Format selection(s)
    • Scheduling and implementation
  • Marketing, sales and distribution
    • Definition of target audience
    • Sales and distribution channel selection
    • Marketing plan and rollout
    • Distribution agreements (bricks and mortar outlets, online for print and digital, international opportunities)
  • Product management
    • Publishing agreement as to services and revenue split
    • Copyright protection (collective licensing, permissions)
    • Timing of print formats (if multiples used), digital release and lifecycle management

In self-publishing, the author needs to address most of these items and often with none of the established processes and contacts available. In an intensely competitive and volatile marketplace though many publishing houses are getting more minimalist in their service offerings.

Pros to Self-Publishing:

The technology today has exponentially expanded the self-publishing options.  Not only is the author not dependent on the opinions of product acquisition editors but is able to publish without meeting the base level financial models – price, volume, profit.  In theory, the self-publisher is not required to “share” revenue, an author with a publisher receiving only 10-25% royalty on net sales.  The self-publisher will have complete control of deliverables and deadlines.

Cons to Self-Publishing:

Many of the cons to self-publishing align exactly with my comments on publishing services.

An author looking at self-publishing from ground zero may have no editorial insight as part of the writing process.  However, there are clearly skills that can be developed to self-edit effectively.  This would particularly be the case for non-fictional writing.

Financial investment may be necessary.  Production today requires technological expertise.  An author can buy that service without tying it to the overall success of the publishing venture.

What about promoting and distributing the published work?  This requires an understanding of the classification of works (e.g. study the organization of titles on the likes of an Amazon).  It requires an understanding of the distribution system.  How do you attract attention and how do you manage sales?  Here is another area where financial investment may be required to buy the service.

If the objectives of the self-published author are to be the next J.K. Rowling then a tremendous amount of energy needs to be devoted to personal websites, search engine optimization, push emails, social media like FaceBook and Twitter, pricing and selling models.  The author will need to develop contacts with potential reviewers.

New challenges for self-publishers are legislative.  There is new privacy legislation pending federally and provincial privacy legislation does not necessarily align.  There are new spam laws that seriously curtail push advertising without the consent of the recipient.  Liability for failing to comply, in both cases, is severe.

Licensing and permission requests need to be addressed if the work is successful.

Decision?

How much of this work do you want to do?  A publisher is not a perfect solution even for top authors.  If you choose a publisher that cannot meet your expectations – the wrong market, the wrong interest, a poor portfolio in the same sphere as your work – then all your efforts will be for naught.  Putting the time and effort into a first work that opens the path to an established publisher may be the perfect strategy.

Anecdotally

A colleague was determined he was going to be a writer.  He took a year out of his academic and professional career to pursue his writing.  His conclusion at the end of the time period was that he didn’t have the discipline or self-critical capability to complete a work.

A friend of my son’s wrote a children’s book, illustrated by a colleague.  He went to the book fairs, created a website, organized competitions promoted through children’s associations.  He devoted hundreds and hundreds of hours to the effort.  At the end of the day the work was a success.  He entered into a co-venture with an established publisher for sequels where the publisher managed all of the promotion effort so that he and his illustrator partner could devote their time to the product.  Several years later, they have an established brand and range of product – an apparent success.

Is a publisher always the solution?  As a legal publisher, I signed a project a number of years ago that was only peripherally legal (although related to legal transactions).  I assumed that the publishing house’s standard sales and marketing strategies would have the flexibility to deliver an appropriate sales, marketing and distribution plan for this title.  They did not.  The book did not succeed.  Who knows would a better aligned publishing house have done better?

Would I try self-publishing?  Yes, I would try but recognize that the author commitment required to be a self-published success cannot be understated.

Memory Comment (Catherine Campbell)

I remember discussing the nature of childhood memories with a friend early in my university career.
I have many vivid memories of experiences as a child but I have no recollection of the times between those memories. My friend recalled her childhood in one connected stream – I was astounded – and envious.
Perhaps being a more conscientious journal keeper would have brought my recall closer to her experience. However, when I did write almost daily, it was rarely “documentary”. I was more likely to describe a visual moment or write a poem than set down a chronology of activity.
In retrospect, the importance of note taking is painfully obvious. My husband and I spent 17 days in Turkey – did I take notes? Of course not! I am now recreating the experience tediously through our hundreds of photographs (photography being somewhat of a passion), the itinerary and memories triggered by browsing the Internet. I was convinced during the trip that I could not possibly forget the detail. A notebook and a pen would have saved countless hours….
Fragments of memories develop depth of character in many fiction works. So I do believe that capturing recollections will be valuable and will trigger creative opportunities. Prospectively, I will be much more cognizant of the quirks of “memory” and use tangible aids.