12 Lessons of Christmas (Madeleine Horton)

  1. Lessons learned in childhood. Snooping for your presents leads to utter letdown on Christmas morning, no matter what the present is or how much you wanted it. That anticipation is often more rewarding than satisfaction is true for many parts of life.
  2. Finding out the truth about Santa may be a heartrending experience for a sensitive child. Maintaining the appearance of a continued belief in Santa may be a rewarding experience for a crafty child.
  3. Giving is a joy. Children should be taught it. Adults should learn that dropping your Canadian Tire money into the Salvation Army kettle does not count as a donation.
  4. When regifting, make sure you know whom the gift originally came from and be sure to send it to someone completely unconnected to the original giver. Otherwise re-gifting may cause re-gret
  5. About decorating. In the house, one rule: Your house does not have to shout, “Merry Christmas.” However, if you believe William Blake’s dictum that “the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom,” do the following. Tear down all existing decor and festoon your house with seasonal trappings everywhere. Let greenery spill from mantels and lights twist and wrap and embrace everything embraceable. Bring on the Santas and snowmen, the carousel horses, the dancing bears, the green grinches, the baby’s first Christmas ball and the school-made paper chains. Forget the notion of colour clash and theme. Display memories. Beautiful old cards, last cards. Whirligigs. And of course, the tree. The tree that is always the best ever. Every year. 
  6. Decorating outdoors. Blow-up Christmas decorations are an abomination. Of these, the worst is the blow-up nativity scene. Whether one is religious or not, there should be a law against having a blow-up nativity beside a Homer Simpson Santa. In fact, a Homer Simpson Santa is an affront to the Santa mythos.
  7. There is only one good version of A Christmas Carol – the black and white version with Alistair Sim.
  8. Christmas without snow was tragic as a child. As an adult, it means relief that loved ones will be able to travel safely. Adults should realise that safety and security can trump the pull of the dramatic. 
  9. The worst of times often become the best of times. The times remembered and rehashed time and time again in our family are the year the oven quit on Christmas day and we ended up eating chicken nuggets cooked on the stove top instead of turkey and yes, it was the year dear family friends were over visiting from England.
  10. You can’t make someone like Christmas cake. It is genetic. Ditto Christmas pudding.
  11. No matter your religious affiliation, or not, only a heart of stone could not be affected by the great Christmas carols – Joy to the World, Good King Wenceslas, Silent Night, and my favourite, Once in Royal David’s City. These are the cathedrals of Christmas music. A corollary to this: None of these should be allowed to be played in the temples of commerce. There songs such as Let It Snow, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Jingle Bells, and possibly “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” bring seasonal cheer.
  12. The question of where Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer should be played is a good one. With its at least six degrees of separation from the original Christmas impetus, perhaps it should best be played outdoors to accompany the nightly rising of the inflatables in those who choose such a manner to celebrate the season.

Black Cat (Madeleine Horton)

The black cat curled up in the strange soft material that now lay on the ground. Last night the bed had looked like one of his kind, only much larger. A giant cat with an arched back among strange figures of unknown creatures on the lawn. The orange balls with grimacing faces still sat on the steps, no longer glowing. The sun was warm, a relief from the nights now longer and cooler.

“P..s..t.., get out of here.” A large woman with a rake loomed over him. “P..s..t.” The old sound. Well known by the cat.  The sound he had instinctively learned meant bad, scat, bolt. The woman spoke to a man raking leaves nearby. “It’s that damned black cat, the one with the stumpy tail. Sleeping in one of the blow-ups. Probably been hanging around the bird feeder too.” The cat ran off.

Food was getting harder to find. In the little green space where families sat and children played on swings, bits of meat were easy to find in the hot times. Sometimes people threw pieces to him when he crept into the open. Today there was no one in the green space. The cat knew he had to get to the street with many fast-moving things. He made his way through yards and over fences. He had his favourite spots but the best meant he had to cross where the fast things came and went and sometimes made a shrieking noise at him.

Today he was lucky. A girl coming out of one of the food places stopped when she saw him lurking under a patio table. “Poor kitty.” She stopped and opened her bag and broke off a large morsel and threw it to him. He grabbed it and ran behind the building. Meat with many tastes. Like eating grass mixed with unknown plants. Still, meat.

The cat spent the afternoon roaming to other food places. He watched a flock of small brown birds that also hung around the food places. He tried to catch one of them pecking something on the ground but had no luck. The bird remained wary while eating.

By early evening he was still hungry. The people were leaving the food places and the cat wanted to find its way back to the quieter places and find somewhere to sleep. He had luck crossing back to his usual haunts. Daylight was fading as he trotted along a sidewalk. A couple of slow-moving fast things passed by but did not shriek at him. Another stopped a little ahead of him and two people stepped out. They were dressed in the same dark clothes. The cat smelled meat. “Good kitty. It’s all right.” He deked under a bush.

But the smell of the meat was enticing and he was so hungry. He crept from the bush towards the spot on a lawn where the meat had been set. He was aware of the man and the woman standing quietly several feet back from the meat and he was confident in his ability to snatch and run. He had done that many times before. He lunged at the prize but was surprised that it seemed rooted to the ground and, in the second he made an effort to secure it, he was trapped as if in a giant spider web. Though he thrashed and spat, he was dumped into a small cage. He heard a door click shut.

“Got him at last,” said one of his captors to the other.

“Not a moment too early with Hallowe’en tomorrow.”

Through a little slot the cat saw himself being loaded into a moving thing.

The cat remembered he had been in a moving thing before when he was very young. He was with another of his kind who looked like him in a similar cage They seemed to be there for a long time before the moving thing stopped and the man came and took the cage, letting it sway as he walked so that his litter mate and he fell to one corner.

He did not remember what the man and woman said.

“Do we have to do this?”

“Nobody wants a black cat,” the man replied.

“It seems so cruel.”

“You were the one who would not let me drown them from the beginning. That’s what we always did on the farm. You said give them a chance. This is a chance. We’ve kept them too long. Look at you. Get a grip.”

The man opened the box and dumped the cats into a ditch. The woman and the man left.

The cat did not remember learning to hunt or the day the other cat was hit by a noisy moving thing and could not follow him anymore. He did remember the cage and the man and he learned to stay hidden even as he gradually found himself back in territory with many people.

The cat had spent a first winter under porches, always hungry, learning to stalk the small birds where they gathered to eat. But that was after the worst time. The time like now. When the days were getting shorter and the nights colder and the leaves were falling from the trees and he first saw the strange things that glowed on the lawns. The worst time was the night when many little people roamed the streets from house to house and some bigger people saw him and cornered him and one put him in a soft cage and flung him over his shoulder.

“This will make our gathering complete. Tell the others. See you all at the Devil’s Den.”

There were thirteen invited friends at the party. The cat knew nothing of Hallowe’en, of Medieval beliefs that black cats were witches in disguise, that women said to be witches were burned at a stake or drowned to prove their innocence, that their cats were tortured. In truth, those gathered knew little of the history either. They said they were having a black mass. This meant they had lit a fire under the iron kettle used for boiling maple sap, now referred to as the cauldron. They stood in a circle around it, drinking beer, some raising their free hand in the sign of the horns. Two of the girls, clustered together, spoke in low and frightened tones. A third girl danced with abandon flinging her hair and stripped to her bare breasts despite the chill of the night. Everyone was dressed in black in a motley assortment of hoodies and trench coats. A couple of males braved the cool night in black band shirts. A tall thin male completely in black and with a black cape strode around the circle, shouting, “Ave Satanas. Everyone. Ave Satanas” until a few joined in. The cauldron was filled with rotting leaves and murky waters from the fall rains. The dancing girl threw in some incense and turned from the fire.

“I need life force. It is time for the cat.”

The male in the black cape brought the sack from the shack. He was unsteady on his feet as he held the squirming animal aloft by its tale. One of the two frightened girls screamed, “Don’t. Don’t.” Others chanted, “Kill the devil” or “Kill for the devil.” Another male with a butcher knife gave a vicious slash at the cat, severing a large part of its tail. The cat dropped to the ground and ran into the deeper woods.

The cat remembered hanging in the air and the pain in his tail and falling to the ground and running away. The cat did not know what else went on after he escaped. Nor did he understand the chanting. “Kill the witch. Kill the bitch.” He understood screams and fear.

Now the moving thing was stopped. The cat heard the man and the woman stepping out and coming to the rear door. Inside was now pitch black. The cat cowered in the back of the cage.

A Happy Time (Madeleine Horton)

I had been enticed by the photo of a group of trail riders wending their way through a verdant valley following a crystal-clear river surrounded by imposing mountains. The text for the ad promised home cooked food, evening campfires and singsongs, led by an experienced guide in the company of travellers drawn to the Rocky Mountains from everywhere. Despite not being able to convince my sister or a friend to make the trip, I decided to go. It was my first real holiday as a young adult after getting settled in my first teaching job. It turned out much different than I expected but even better.

When I was picked up in Banff, I was told that because I was there the week before the Calgary Stampede, no group rides had yet been scheduled. I was asked if I would consider riding alone with the guide who was checking out the trails. There would still be the two campsites to return to at night, there would still be breakfast and dinners and packed lunch for the rides as the campsites were gearing up for the following week. I would have one of the large shared tents to myself and we would do as much riding as the regular trips did. So, it was to be just the guide and me.

The situation suited me as one who is more introvert than extravert. And no this is not a romance story though it did have a handsome hero- one who could wear a cowboy hat without it looking like a costume, who sat a horse with ease and grace, and who spoke as befitted someone who grew up as one of the younger siblings in a family of seven on a rural Saskatchewan farm. He was probably younger than I realized then.

It helped that I could saddle up myself and knew my way around a horse in a comfortable if not expert manner. For six days after breakfast, we saddled up and rode for many hours, stopping at noon for lunch and a break for the horses. A simple cheese sandwich on hearty bread, brand name biscuits or cornbread soaked in maple syrup eaten with instant coffee, made from water taken from the stream we rested the horses by, never tasted so good.

And, here I was on a horse, a sturdy bay gelding, nothing to look at but honest and sure-footed and tireless and I was riding through mountains, mountains on both sides off me, mountains behind me, and mountains ahead of me as far as I could see. Sometimes we were negotiating switchbacks, my steady horse sweated up but dogged. Sometimes we were high enough a brief snow shower wetted us. Sometimes we were snaking through trees, sometimes following the path of a silver river and then splashing through it to the other side, a delight unlikely with a large group inevitably with some who had never been on a horse before. The same for a quick canter back to camp down an old lumber road- an unexpected treat. I cannot deny that I felt lucky to be asked if I was game for doing some scouting of a new trail. Throughout those days on horseback, I never heard any traffic, saw a single plane overhead, and only once in the distance saw another group of riders going the opposite direction.

Every evening after a full dinner usually with some cut of local beef, I was invited to sit around a fire. I still remember these fires as a time when I laughed more and harder than I have ever since. I find many things funny, yet I do not laugh easily but I remember laughing so much then that my jaws ached. It turned out that the local park ranger who was stationed on fire watch all day came over to the camp in the evening. He was a natural story teller and my guide a keen acolyte, and they had a well of stories. Most concerned bears and tourists, tourists and bears, and among tourists the most amusing to them were the hikers, usually assumed to be some type of hippy. I remember them waxing on like ancient philosophers about the theories of what to do if confronted by a bear. As in the telling of all good stories, it was in the manner of it, the art of it. The park ranger was gifted in this and perhaps he spent his solitary days honing his stories for the night.

When I withdrew to my tent, I looked up at the stars, so many and so bright, felt embraced by the darkness so deep and a blanket of quiet that lured me into heavy untroubled sleep. No wavers signed, no GPS tracking systems on alert, no cell phones near for comfort. No fear, none.