Blindmen or Elephants (Marian Bron)

Last week I sent out another piece to get critiqued by our writers’ group. Each time the feedback comes in I can’t help but be reminded of the blindmen and the elephant. Which are we? Every observation speaks to a different strength, style and even favourite genre, every comment touches another aspect. When it’s so easy to be artistically narrowminded and hack each other’s work to shreds because it’s not like our own style, that doesn’t happen. Our group works because of the differences.

Some of us focus on the elephant’s trunk, the flexible imagination and flow of the story. Another the straightforward tail, that swishes away flies and unnecessary words and grammar errors. The third blindman examines the sturdy tree trunk legs. Does the story stand up? And the ears, has our creative potential been properly fanned, making it the best it can be. Lastly the warm textured hide,  comments about the feel of story. What was liked and what could be improved.

Until this week, I hadn’t decided if we are the blindmen or the elephant. The thought of us being blindmen comes with negative connotations, each member convinced what he feels is the entire elephant. Not thinking creatively and considering the whole. We are too caring of each other’s talent to think that way. We don’t write trunks or hides or even legs. Sure, we need those body parts to make the whole but what we do is help each other write tales. Tales that come from our hearts and souls. Tales that are complete like our critique group. The grammar corrections, logic catches, every bit of feedback helps us be that elephant, that majestic pachyderm.

Character Studies (Marian Bron)

What makes a Ted Kaczynski? How did a young girl become Malala? Why does Ryan Hreljac want to build wells whereas Trump wants to build walls.  Why did Sue Rodriguez make one choice and Stephen Hawking another? How did all these individuals become who they are?

As a writer’s group we’ve been exploring character development. I’ll admit Netflix and all its character driven stories had a lot to do with the need to delve into the topic. Consider Walter White and his cancer diagnosis or Lorelai Gilmore and an unplanned pregnancy. And it’s not just streaming services, television, books and the movies are full of wonderful characters as well. Don Tillman in the Rosie Project, Robert Ludlum’s Jason Bourne, Montgomery’s Anne Shirley, and more. Look at what Holden Caufield did for Young Adult literature.

But how do we, as novice writers, write a Ted Kaczynski or Malala and make them believable? How do we give them depth? A life? Make them people we root for? Characters we want to read about or watch?

I know I stick to the same type of protagonist. A relatively intelligent, albeit scattered female, with a few socialization issues. If I write the same character each and every time I won’t grow as a writer. Our character project will hopefully help with that. We began with a character assignment, a person we wouldn’t necessarily choose ourselves. I was given a female prison guard. For our first assignment we wrote 500 words introducing this individual with the caveat that this person would stay true to the original. A single mother of three couldn’t become a happily married woman with no kids and instead a well-behaved dog in a subsequent assignment. We play the cards we deal and are dealt.

The second month we wrote about an event—funerals, dinner parties, graduations, baptisms, etc.—as a means to further develop basic traits. Next meeting the assignment was to incorporate a small defect, think gout or asthma. Something that plays on a person but doesn’t railroad their life.

As we throw more challenges at our creations it will be interesting to see who becomes a criminal mastermind, a comedian, or corporate mogul. Who lets life beat them down and who will triumph? Will we go dark or light? Comedy or dramedy?

Revenge – Part One (Marian Bron)

The citronella candle sputtered in its terracotta pot as another popcorn dud landed next to the flame.

“Bull’s-eye,” Liza shouted. “Drink up Ladies!”

We drained our wine glasses.

Kernels littered the teak tabletop’s surface. As a group our aim was horrendous, Liza’s the first successful shot in quite awhile. If we kept this up, there wasn’t a chance in Hades that any of us would be going home drunk tonight.

“Fill ‘em up,” Erin said passing the bottle around, everyone except Marnie pouring the cheap chardonnay into glasses. She refilled hers with sparkling water, alcohol a sin she didn’t allow herself.

Mimi, her dog, and the popcorn bowl sat in her lap. The dog’s nose shoved deep into the bowl snuffling up what she could.  Marnie fished out a kernel and passed the bowl to Samantha. Holding Mimi close, she carefully aimed for the pot. It jumped off the pot’s edge, landing in the puddle of melted wax.

“Thank you, Lord,” she declared throwing her hands up in victory. She tipped her glass, guzzling it in one smooth gulp. A lady-like burp escaping as she set the glass down. The rest downed another glass of wine. Things were looking up.

Samantha was next. The force of her shot bounced the dry kernel off the table top and into Liza’s glass.

“I’ll get you a fresh one,” Erin laughed. “It’ll be covered in Mimi goobers.”

“Bring another bottle, too,” Samantha said. “This one’s just about done.”

Our men were inside watching the NHL playoffs. Besides being married to five high school friends, a love of hockey was all they had in common. Most girls’ nights they stayed home, but Erin and Ted had a new state-of-the-art home theatre room complete with a loaded beer fridge. Naturally, tonight the boys tagged along.

For us five girls, life had gotten dull. We’d become popcorn duds ourselves. Not one of us had any sizzle left, let alone the energy to pop. Liza and Barry were the only ones busy with small kids. Marnie and Frank had no kids, just that ugly Shih Tzu with its unfortunate orthodontia. The rest had teenagers who didn’t need us anymore. All five of us looked forward to these monthly get togethers. Sometimes we went to the movies, occasionally dinner but usually we met at each other’s homes. Everyone brought wine, except for Marnie, she drank nothing but sparkling water. We all brought junk food except for Liza. Since meeting Barry, she was off sugar. Her vegetable tray sat untouched next to a nearly finished plate of decadent brownies, empty chip bowl and platter of nachos and cheese. Mind you she was in amazing shape. Barry demanded it.

Liza adored him, we did not. He was a pretentious twat. A loaded twat with a gold touch. After college he got into banking and moved steadily up the ranks until he was managing the biggest bank in town. They’d purred up to Erin’s house in a Maserati, his newest toy, while the rest of us poked up in mini-vans. Tonight, however Barry seemed to have lost some of his glitter. It was small things. Liza’s comment about the new car and ladies. His never-ending meetings. Little jabs all evening long. Normally Barry only allowed one glass of wine, tonight she was on her fifth. Her aim was spot on, but her speech had started to slur.

“You know what, ladies?” she asked, pulling the pan of brownies towards her.

We watched as three brownies made their way into her mouth, her expression as she swallowed bordering on orgasmic.

“How I’ve missed you,” she said as she corralled the crumbs into a neat pile. She bent, vacuuming the pan empty with her mouth, wiping her face clean with the back of her hand.

“Barry?” Marnie whispered, quickly glancing over her shoulder. Disobedience was a sin.

“Hah! Barry the saint,” Liza slurred. “Lipstick on your collar’s gonna’ tell on you.”

We didn’t know what to say. Had Barry cheated? They had little kids. How dare he!

She raised her wine glass, sloshing half the contents onto her blouse. “Here’s to Missy Gillespie, home wrecker.”

“His receptionist?” I asked.

Liza sniggered, nodding. “He’s such a cliché.”

“What are you going to do?” Erin asked. We pulled our chairs closer, as everyone’s voice lowered. The men were still downstairs.

“Revenge. Get him where it hurts most.” Liza refilled her glass.

“An eye for an eye? It’s Biblical.” Samantha shrugged. “Why not?”

“I don’t think, the Lord meant literally,” Marnie said. “You can’t sin, too.”

“No, girls,” Liza said, her articulation perfect, eyes sparkling. Thoughts of revenge clearing her system of alcohol. “I’m going to rob his bank. You in?”

Tower Lights (Marian Bron)

I have no life, and the entire town knows it. Every year, I sit home the night of the big Halloween Dance at the community center. Everyone has a date for the dance, even old Mr. Ellis from up the street. He’s ninety-four and hasn’t had teeth since he was forty-two. I have teeth and still can’t get a date.

The upside is that everyone needs a babysitter and you don’t need a degree in economics to figure out I can make a fortune. I charge twenty-five dollars an hour and don’t change diapers. This year I am booked to babysit for Mrs. Westenraugh. She and her family are new to the area and I have been recommended by a neighbour of hers.

Drizzle hangs in the air, finding its way up coat sleeves and down rubber boots. To say I’m cold is an understatement. Orange auras, floating on light posts, hum in the misty gloom, singing me down the dead-end street to my newest employer’s home.

Stone pillars flank an eight-foot-high wrought iron gate that bars the path of would-be intruders. A rusty screech and the subterranean whir of motors and the gates creak open. Silently, they shut behind me. Slick with rain, a cobbled driveway disappears under hunched willow trees. Their feathered branches sway back and forth, reaching to stroke my cheeks. Long-fingered leaves trail over my face, their moribund digits kneading and slithering, pawing. I whip them away with the sweep of an arm.

Through the mist, looms a moldering Gothic mansion. Eavestroughs swinging loose, hang by long rain silvered spikes, screech in the gloom. Shutters, rusty hinges oiled by the vile elements, tap an eerie tempo against brick walls. My steps slow. I should have checked this woman out before agreeing to sit for her. I shake my head and square my shoulders. For twenty-five dollars an hour, I can tough it out.

Crumbling stone steps lead up to the front door. I lift the brass lion head shaped doorknocker by its chin and let it fall. There is no friendly clack as it hits the strike plate. A dolorous moan echoes through the gloom. No footsteps approach, no tapping of heels crossing floors, just a groan as the wooden door opens.

A witch stands before me. More precisely, a woman dressed as a witch stands before me. Mrs. Westenraugh with her jet-black hair, peeked hat and broom in hand, is dressed to party.

“The babysitter is here,” she calls over her shoulder.

My knees knock as I step over the threshold and follow her into the depths of the house. I really should have checked this place out beforehand. Suits of armour wielding polished poleaxes stand guard while old bespeckled men scowl from portraits lining the hallway’s walls.

“The television is in the den through there,” the witch says pointing down the hall. “And there are snacks in the kitchen. Help yourself.”

I nod my head. I can do this. Remember,  twenty-five tax-free dollars.

“We’ll be back just after midnight. Dr”—a thunderclap shakes the house—“won’t give you any trouble. He’s in his bed. Do not under any circumstance disturb him. Do not check on him. Leave him be.” Each ‘do not’ weighted with a glare.

My employer disappears into the shadows, leaving me alone. This should be an easy hundred bucks. Sounds like the kid, Drew, Drake or whatever his name is, is down for the night.

A spider stands guard over the remote sitting on the coffee table in the den. I flick him away and turn the television on. It’s not long before my stomach starts to rumble.

Mrs. Westenraugh deserves props for embracing the whole Halloween thing. In the kitchen, an enormous cauldron hangs over the open fireplace, a foul-smelling stew lazily bubbling away. As I give the green mess a stir, black blobs rise to the surface and break free, hovering above me, bumping against the ceiling. The fire’s snake-eyed reflection glistens in each orb.

Going by the jars of dried herbs and odd-looking vegetables in the cupboards, the Westenraughs must be health nuts. Each jar is labelled in Latin. Make that educated health nuts. There are no chips or cake in sight, and no soda. I don’t trust the tea. Tap water and a lint-covered mint, hiding beneath a used tissue in the pocket of my raincoat will have to do.

Back in the den, I surf the channels. It’s the usual Halloween fare. Every horror movie ever made is on television tonight. The opening credits to “Dracula Visits America” scrolls across the screen. I’m sitting all alone in a creepy house; I’m not going to watch anything scary. I leave the TV on the local community cable station, its elevator music playing as I read the announcements. I should have brought a book.

It doesn’t take long for boredom to set in. I start to wander. First around the den, opening drawers and looking into urns, before moving out into the hall. This house would be a great place for a game of Sardines. There are so many great hiding places. Cupboards under stairs, deep deep closets, and nooks and crannies galore. The Westenraughs should rent the place out, it’d make an incredible haunted house. I take the staircase to the next floor and enter what can only be a torture chamber. A bed of nails, a guillotine, a rack, and even a coffin. I reverse and step back out of the room. Mrs. Westenraugh let her imagination take her a bit too far.

Ten o’clock sounds. Two hours to go.

From a bedroom window, I can see the east wing of the house, where a four-storied tower rises from its roofline. A light blinks on in the top window. Drake, Drew or whoever is awake and pacing. His dark figure moves back and forth across the lit window.

He stops, raises a hand, pressing his palm to the window pane. I step back, ducking behind the drapes, not sure if he saw me. He moves away from the window. Seconds later he’s back, only to disappear again. The lights go off but not for long. On and off they go, again and again. The boy is playing with the lights.

There are no electric light switches anywhere near the bottom of the tower’s staircase. The space above a bituminous void, too dangerous to attempt without illumination. A candelabra and box of wooden matches are the only source of light. Slowly, one hand clamped to the railing and the other holding the lit candelabra out in front of me. My foot too long for each ancient rung, I tiptoe, circling my way up the twisted staircase. Each tread creaking under my weight. The wind picks up, keening in the dark, drafty fingers of cold working through the brick. The candles flicker, burn bright, before almost sputtering out, inviting ghostly shadows.

“Please don’t go out,” I mutter. My breath fanning the flames, once again lighting my way.

Drew/Drake’s door is shut. I should have asked the witch to repeat her child’s name. It puts me at a disadvantage. Across the door’s wooden face is a faded golden inscription. My fingers trace the Latin words.

“Pray-ee-monty-us pram-unit-us,” I sound out, having no idea what Praemonitus pramunitus meant. Hesitatingly, I push the door open. Traces of incense wafts past me. The hairs on the back of my neck rise. A man, not a child, stands in the center of the room, his hand rests on the side of an open coffin. His ruby lips turn up, the smile not reaching his eyes. His long blue-tinged fingers push a satin-lined black cloak off his shoulders.

“Good evening.” His white canines glow in the candlelight. Their points glisten red.

I am out the door, down the stairs, shoving my feet into my rainboots, grabbing my raincoat and pushing out the front door in seconds. Dashing out into the rain, I pinch myself. I must be dreaming. There is no way that woman said Dracula. Willow branches grab for me as I race down the driveway, throw my coat over the gate, clambering after it with simian speed. I am home in no time.

The front door slams behind me. Leaning against it, I try to catch my breath. I am home. My warm modern, lovely normal home.

“Hey?” my mother pops her head out of the family room. “You’re early?”

I sink to the floor.

“What’s wrong?”

If I tell her, she’ll have me committed.

“Neighbour’s dog.”

The Pembleton Falls Times-Journal Sunday Edition (Marian Bron)

Hollywood, scorched by one scandal after another, is turning to artificial intelligence and robots for their new leading men and women. Following the recent Weinstein and Depp controversies the Academy has had enough. It’s time for malleable minds.

With the recent success of Integrated Neurorobotics’ Arthur Mory Project, Hollywood can now resurrect any long dead acting legend or create a new Oscar worthy star at a fraction of the salary demanded by any of today’s A list celebrities.

Lead researcher and the brains behind Arthur Mory, Thea Kolijn explains, “We’ve use artificial intelligence to determine what society sees as a classically beautiful person or even the perfect villain—bone structure, colouring, that sort of thing— then create the body to go with it. Once functioning, the robot studies hours and hours of award winning acting, absorbing the knowledge it gleans and adding it to its data bank.”

When asked if audiences are ready for mechanical actors, Ms. Kolijn laughs. “Isn’t that half of Hollywood? No seriously, there will be an adjustment but look at the animation industry. Viewers accepted computer animation with barely a blink. When done well, and we here at Integrated Neurorobotics do robots well, you won’t be able to tell the difference.”

What about the cost? A mere two and a half million compared to the tens of millions an A list actor demands. And, as Ms. Kolijn points out, you don’t have to feed them.

Are We Ready?  starring an all mechanical cast created by Integrated Neurorobotics, opens this Friday in theatres across the country.